he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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