Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
