Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize