just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
