What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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