I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
