How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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