the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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