First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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