I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
