Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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