they need to just BURY HIM!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
