My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
