he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
