somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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