Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to sanitize my soul.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
