she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think i have herpe
just one?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize