Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
