whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize