Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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