If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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