No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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