I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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