I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
