There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She bit a glass in half.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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