After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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