Whod you bang
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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