I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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