I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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