On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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