i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
