weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
