Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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  (858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat. http://tfl.nu/yzbr
  Replies (19) Good night (12777) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it

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  (937): Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it http://tfl.nu/4nim
  Replies (39) Good night (872) Bad night (2755)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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  (312): I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista http://tfl.nu/d26q
  Replies (27) Good night (4539) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.

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  (425): Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years. http://tfl.nu/f3i9
  Replies (8) Good night (796) Bad night (3661)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

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  (603): A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you. http://tfl.nu/2hjp
  Replies (4) Good night (2789) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

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  (318): Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea". http://tfl.nu/c66k
  Replies (5) Good night (2385) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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  (631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu
  Replies (30) Good night (2784) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome

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  (716): I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome http://tfl.nu/f4q6
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

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  (212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0
  Replies (10) Good night (2849) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

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  (404): I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/4d1q
  Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.

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  (419): I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama. (574): Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts. http://tfl.nu/mgxx
  Replies (1) Good night (1506) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Wait, that's an option?

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  (757): YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE. (1-757): Wait, that's an option? http://tfl.nu/2xp5
  Replies (5) Good night (1475) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.

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  (201): If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses. http://tfl.nu/91v1
  Replies (0) Good night (641) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore

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  (315): she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore http://tfl.nu/sa4k
  Replies (5) Good night (417) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop

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  (484): I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop http://tfl.nu/re1e
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (251)

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