Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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(614): View more from Ohio

woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(718): View more from New York

You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.

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(817): View more from Texas

I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.

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