I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.