Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I seriously wish I was FB friends with her

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  (906): I seriously wish I was FB friends with her http://tfl.nu/inkp
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (1128)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  ice luge is my downfall...

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ...u mean upfall.

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  (732): ice luge is my downfall... (1-732): ...u mean upfall. http://tfl.nu/2rlo
  Replies (11) Good night (2255) Bad night (585)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

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  (970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3
  Replies (13) Good night (4130) Bad night (1096)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"

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  (617): college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place" http://tfl.nu/mdbw
  Replies (39) Good night (6230) Bad night (1177)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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  (201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil
  Replies (20) Good night (1728) Bad night (2977)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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  (201): On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in http://tfl.nu/9hap
  Replies (8) Good night (3853) Bad night (1015)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."

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  (204): All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday." http://tfl.nu/uy4c
  Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (1463)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.

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  (303): It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/jl72
  Replies (6) Good night (491) Bad night (1116)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you

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  (814): you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you http://tfl.nu/0g1k
  Replies (5) Good night (761) Bad night (1531)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.

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  (719): I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in. http://tfl.nu/k5k2
  Replies (11) Good night (2450) Bad night (1016)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.

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  (317): In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude. http://tfl.nu/kqtp
  Replies (6) Good night (1718) Bad night (583)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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  (503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

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  (630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2
  Replies (3) Good night (1599) Bad night (505)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  How drunk do you guys plan on getting?

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?

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  (239): How drunk do you guys plan on getting? (1-239): We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think? http://tfl.nu/11cm
  Replies (7) Good night (1140) Bad night (380)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?

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  (613): What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with? http://tfl.nu/ukrn
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (215)

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