my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
