I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
