Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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