Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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