remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
