God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
