whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
