Sry I called you an 8
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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