that's an acceptable place to lick
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
