but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
