ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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