You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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