life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
