Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize