take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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