I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
