Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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