I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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