i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
