i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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