my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
