come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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