OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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