im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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