dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
