I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
