Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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