so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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